state of affairs

This is supposed to model an “about us” page, but that’s not quite what’s coming out right now. This is more a standing update on where we all are currently, more or less. 

This is my second third fourth (I’ve now lost track) attempt at semi-regular blogging, so naturally the house is peaceful and contemplative so I can reach that Zen zone, tucked in my perfectly organized and quiet little Instagram ready nook of writing happiness. There’s a soft tinkle of the desktop waterfall, and the giant white super fluffy cat keeps my lap warm and also photogenic. A cozy cuppa tea sits on the desk, next to my artsy little journal that I use to record my every precious thought.

Are you still with me? Good, now to give you a window into the true scene: It’s the middle of 2021 and I’m where I’ve been for more than a year now, in my home office. The kid just finished school via Zoom (luckily on a school provided iPad). I’m working from the butcher block desk my husband whipped together during the first weeks of quarantine, when it was just “a two week pause” (insert bitter, hysterical laughter over how false that turned out to be). Over the past year, our family has lost a grandmother, a friend, a coworker, a giant white cat, a beautiful golden horse and the most beloved dog. The echo of those losses will always stay with us, though the grief box gets a bit bigger every day. 

Both my husband and I are vaccinated, as is most everyone in our immediate circle of family and friends. This pandemic has clearly exposed so many fault lines in our society, and changes are happening…slowly, haltingly, painfully, and yet not enough. For our family, life is slowly grinding forward, focus shifting outwards and upwards once again. My husband and I kept our jobs, my son receives counseling for grief, I’ve found a new horse and we’re waiting for our new puppy to finish growing up with his mom before joining us at the end of the summer. Today, right now, life is okay, and though I always ask for more, right now that’s enough. 

The song quoted below helps explain where I got my motto and name of the blog from. I spent several sessions as a camp counselor, and this song has always stuck with me and uplifted me when I needed it most.

On the Loose

Have you ever seen the sunrise turn the sky completely red?
Have you slept beneath the moon and stars with a pine bough for your head?
Have you sat and talked with friends, though a word was never said?
Then you’re like me and you’ve been on the loose.

On the loose to climb a mountain,
On the loose where I am free.
On the loose to live my life,
The way I think my life should be.
For I’ve only got a moment,
And a whole world yet to see,
And I’ll be searching for tomorrow, on the loose.

There’s a trail that I’ll be hiking
Just to see where it might go.
Many places yet to visit,
Many people yet to know.
And in following my dreams,
I will live and I will grow,
On a trail that’s out there waiting, on the loose.


So in search of love and laughter,
I’ll be travelling through this land.
Never sure of where I’m going,
For I haven’t any plans.
But in time when you are ready,
Come and join me, take my hand.
And together we’ll find life,
Out on the loose!

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