On Saturday while driving to the barn to muck stalls & work with horses, I had one of those insights that comes so seldom to me. I’m not an introspective person by nature, but with good parenting, life experience, therapy & writing, I can usually take a gander at what I’m feeling at any given moment.
This thought was triggered by the fact that I’ve “rediscovered” music I used to listen to in college- Big & Rich, Owl City, Modest Mouse, etc. I’m that type of person to listen to a song incessantly for months…& then not for years. So I was listening to Big & Rich on the drive over, & it reminded me that I use to belt out with these same songs years ago, driving to another barn to muck stalls & work horses. The wheel turns & turns again, but certain things follow you. I was a relatively carefree college student with a pretty clear life plan; now I’m a mom & an office peon with wants & needs but a murkier path. But the horses are still there, though I never imagined them quite this way. I don’t own a horse or even have regular riding access right now, but I still get to handle some every week, & I’ve just signed up for a 12 week ground training course to keep learning.
When I became a mother, then a bit later when I “gave up” horses for a while, I was determined not to be a 40 year old re-rider, those girls who grew up horse mad & lost them while they pursued careers & raised children, got married & couldn’t find time or money to fit the horses until near retirement or the kids were in college. I’ve formed good friendships through endurance riding, & now through the local horse rescue. I am working towards taking regular dressage lessons again, time & money permitting.
Even though I don’t own horses, I’m not driving a carriage or working on a draft powered farm, I haven’t lost the horses, & now I’m just about able to start introducing them to Kaeden. He actually came home early from his grandparent’s house to go to the barn with me (though I think that’s more because of the trampoline & mud puddles, but still!) In a year or two he’ll be old enough to take lessons of his own, & we’ll see if this kid has even half the horse fever of his mother!