I figured it was time & past time to turn my pen to writing a sappy yet eloquent shout out to the bearded man person in our lives, seeing as how I’m yet again abandoning him tomorrow night to drive up a mountain to camp with my still sans beard man person (read: leaving Tom to peace & quiet & tranquility, just him, some nice video games & a cat spazzing out due to the full moon). 

Almost two years ago, a single mother lived in a cute red house, with a little blonde love of her life & a succession of the world’s goofiest dogs (boxers, for those who need a dog to keep them laughing!). Said mother reached out & dipped a toe into…cue ominous music…online dating. But wait! This story pays off (so far!).

This foray into dating didn’t end with any of the Criminal Minds level horror stories, or even drink wine & bitch level. The single mom got all gussied up (for her level, anyway), & took a pretty stroll on a hot day through her nice neighborhood to a hippie ice cream place to meet a hardworking, goofy guy for a real, actual date. This goofy guy immediately proceeded to purchase her a cold, fancy milkshake & open doors & talk & listen to her….for the rest of the afternoon. Not that her people instincts are always the best, but she ended up strolling home with said goofy guy & introducing him to the world’s goofiest dog, who loved him completely. And most dogs, as we all know, are excellent judges of character. Feeling good about things, this single mom eventually sent said goofy guy home, later at night than would later be admitted, perhaps.

Fast forward to two years later, & said no longer single mom panicked about some lost paperwork (just my new, beloved vehicle title, nothing major or anything) & snaps at this goofy guy over early morning text…only to discover said paperwork where she’d left it, against advice, in the glove box (where, in her opinion, such paperwork should live.). Said woman now has to eat crow & apologize, & maybe just realize she should investigate the whole “think before blurting things out” thing.

Beyond that, these two weird, goofy, stubborn people are now in the (hopefully long) process of building a life together, including massive piles of laundry, keeping a kid alive, possibly house buying & disagreeing about such things as what to have for dinner, the merits of seafood, & how fast to drive in traffic.

That hardworking guy gets up before the sun & puts in his time building really expensive things only certain people understand beyond the basics, cooks dinner nearly every night, & makes sure the woman doesn’t bring home random animals. He checks the fluids in her car, keeps the kid alive so she can go to a writer’s group or disappear riding for hours & hours, & talks her off the occasional panic ledge. He’s never camped in his life & doesn’t plan to start now, although fishing is nice. He buys flowers & chocolate when he knows he’s really messed up, & asks the woman to not shut him out for four days while she processes her own mad.

 In short, this dude is awesome. His name is Tom, & back off ladies, he’s busy playing video games on his giant new wraparound monitor & hates being poked, prodded, tickled, kissed, or in general bothered when he’s trying to finish a dang mission. He’ll be to bed eventually & garbage can wait another day, right?

I’m writing this now as we’ve had a few rocky bits, & goddess only knows what’s still to discover to disagree or panic about, but we’re contemplating buying a house (side bar: Why the hell is a mortgage cheaper than rent these days???) & by all accounts, such a thing is more serious a step than marriage. But if you could see how good he is with not only keep Kade alive, but convincing him bedtime isn’t the end of the world & no, he doesn’t need to eat his peas, but you do have to pick up all your toys & ahhh! Here comes the tickler to beat all ticklers!

Thank you for all the laughs and more to come, bearded man person 🙂