It really hit home for me when I changed the timer on our automatic coffee pot. When Tom’s home, I set it for 525am, so it’s just finishing up when he leaves for work about 15 minutes later. The pot stays warm until I empty it an hour later. But I set it to turn on at 625 now, because there’s no reason for it to sit for over an hour before I leave. 

Tom’s staying in California for work until (at least) mid August, very possibly longer. We’ll see him a few times here & there, but for now I have an apartment that suddenly feels bigger & more echoing & Facetime. And lots of annoying emoji texting.

As sorry as I feel for the fact I’m suddenly responsible for all the things again (including feeding myself & the kid, really universe?) I know I can’t whine too much. We’re both employed, still have roofs over our heads, & Tom’s company feels strongly enough to spend almost my annual salary to keep him around (they legit just gave him a company credit card for the summer).

Tom was talking about signs last night over Facetime, while I did the dishes, the kid brushed his teeth (now minus one!) & the giant white lump of a cat supervised. We were in the process of lining things up to buy a house this year, had just hooked up with a real estate agent & now Tom’s gone for the summer. So maybe the universe says wait?  

On the other hand, if Tom is gearing up to being gone a bit more often, I’d like to get things as settled as they can be now. What I really, really, really want to avoid is moving Kade in the middle of the school year, & our lease is up in March, & month to month rent is $100 bucks more than a lease. But to break our lease is also a ridiculous amount of money. And the Salem market is set to creep up now that Portland is a nut case. 

Plus, just having a house, even if it’s not much more space or even the same level of updates as our apartment, would be a huge thing for us all. A yard for Kade to be loud in, a garage for Tom to change oil in, & a pantry I can Pintrest organize to my heart’s content, plus stable payments? 

So the search continues, just a lot more slowly than before. And with more (quiet) I miss my big cuddly bear man whining.