Pedicure Day

I’m a few days late in posting this, as it’s been an extraordinarily rough week at the tail end of a dumpster fire year. Cyrus passed away unexpectedly last week and not a day goes by I’m not crying, feeling like I’ve lost a limb. Cyrus was a Very Good Dog, and missing him so […]

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Remembering Cyrus

First off, Fuck 2020. Can’t say it any more forcefully than that. I’m writing this from my friend’s house where I’m temporarily boarding my new horse, while the three kids are doing schoolwork and three adults are on work calls. Secondly, I really, deeply appreciate everyone’s heartfelt comments and thoughts. Seeing point one, I know […]

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The hardest post

I thought the post I wrote after Flash died so unexpectedly was the hardest one I would write this year. Fuck that, said 2020. Today is the hardest, weirdest day I’ve ever had. I left home early this morning, after checking on Cyrus and confirming my husband knew how to care for him for the […]

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The Best Dog

This post is pretty heavy, so if you’re in a fragile space yourself right now, I do recommend skipping it. Here’s some pretty pictures to bury the lead….. I know shouting “THIS YEAR FUCKING SUCKS” is nothing new for literally everyone on the planet, but my brain is basically screaming that all the time now, […]

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Possible New View

I’ve been quietly conducting a new partner search while juggling as much overtime at work as I can, so all thanks to the organizational abilities of Excel. For some it might seem like too short a time, but we all grieve differently and horses are a huge part of me. To not have one to […]

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Don’t Dare 2020

Flash hasn’t even been gone a month and already my stress levels are spiking and my coping mechanisms have stagnated. I didn’t quite realize how essential daily barn time was to my psyche until I had it ripped away, even though I’d had only just over a year of daily horse kisses and slobber. Between […]

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Uphill Trudge

As much as I miss Flash for himself and how excellent he was, I also miss the certainty he provided, the every day rhythm. Kid, dog and husband all knew where I would be around 7pm every night and most Saturdays, and usually some combination of the three would join me to take care of […]

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Remembering Flash

Thank you to everyone’s thoughts and kind words, I can’t express how much they help. Even though I cry when I read them, it truly helps knowing I’m part of a larger tribe that completely understands. I’ve lost my friend, and I’m at the stage where I’m not sure I want to “get over” loosing […]

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The Grief Box

My friend explained a concept to me I’d never heard of, on our long, horrible ride home from the vet clinic yesterday morning after one of the worst nights of my life. She called it the “Grief Box.” Grief is like a big red button inside a box with a bouncing ball; at first the […]

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A bundle of nerves

Earlier this week my plans changed from camping with Flash on the other side of the mountains…to camping with Flash on the beach. I ditched the high desert due to the forecast (20 degrees and snowing while camping in the back of my unsealed horse trailer is less my cup of tea), while my trainer […]

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